Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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