alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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