you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You may now shotgun with the bride
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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