she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
