Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
