All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
