Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ladies don't puke and tell
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
