Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I touched a dick in church today
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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