More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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