even my farts smell like vagina
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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