All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
please don't ironically join a cult
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