the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
