My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
