i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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