Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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