Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
