just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
