Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Someone signed my nipple.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
