Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
