I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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