His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
