Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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