Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
