Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
