carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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