My friends, they love my intelligence
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
