and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
bring money and cleavage
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
