So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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