did you get engaged???
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
