it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
