she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
