dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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