How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
