How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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