Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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