just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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