I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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