Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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