Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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