i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
