yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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