I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
