Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
im on a boat
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