Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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