Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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