Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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