Sry I called you an 8
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dear god my vagina.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
