I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Are my feet made of real feet?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
