Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
