she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
