i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
