Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
