He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
