you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
