the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
