I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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