Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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