dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
